Weekly Shout-Outs

I know it's only Thursday, but some weekly shout outs need to be made known...

With that being said, I'd like to give a shout out to:

*My boss, Tim- for asking me (in his fabulous British accent) if my top was on inside out today. (To which I replied, "Nope. No, sir, it isn't." and an awkward silence ensued.)

*Andrew- for amazing cd's, your fedora, my first "Zen" experience, and for allowing me to open the door to uncomfortable but necessary situations at your soccer game. (by the way, like i mentioned saturday, you were wicked graceful out there. you looked like a swan. a swan with mad soccer skills.)

*Roy- for the fact that your ring finger is longer than your middle finger; which evidently means you have higher levels of testosterone; for the songs,'Come in Closer' and 'Chameleon Boy' by Blue October; for early morning phone conversations that i look forward to, and for the BEST Borat impersonation i have ever heard.

*The back fax machine- you have made the list yet again. on tuesday, you took 45 MINUTES to NOT SEND a fax, and you almost made me late for class.

*Both the back and mail room fax machines- for conspiring against ONLY ME and figuring out ways to try and ruin my life.

*Mason Nelder- for physical therapy routines that slim down inches from my waist and thighs. HIGH FIVE!

*The 2 minute Air Bench at the end of Routine #1- I HATE YOU. (but thanks for helping me look and feel amazing.)

*Classics (formerly known as Caliches)- for MANGO VANILLA SPRITE.

*Sadie- for showing me the postsecret blog. and for being awesome. i miss you.

*The Gulbransen (i will give you a fitting name someday)- you haven't been tuned in over 2 years, but you still sound beautiful to me.

*ENMU-R- for deciding to get rid of, or "phase out" the paralegal program. i still have three semesters, you jerks.

*Chuck Palahniuk- for stories that open my eyes; and though they come across as dark and warped, they are beautiful, moving, and haunting. i dig your style.

*The Joshua Clothing boys, Josh and Kyle- for helping me with my situation and for appreciating my sense of humor.

*Bath and Body Works- for Body Cream. without you, my skin would be perpetually dry because i cannot use regular lotion. i can't even use YOUR regular lotion. so thanks for the Body Cream.

*Jessica Watts- for referring to me as the funniest person you know, or one of them. and for letting my dog poop on your carpet. (like you had a choice or something.)

*Parker Eiffert- for drinking a beer out of a baby bottle, and then saying it tasted like your mom's milk.

*The kid in Ms. Mac's class- for the following attempt at an example of onomatopoeia: "The ocean is salty." (good try. and i laugh HARD every time i think about it. thank you.)

*Avery White Multi-Purpose Labels- for allowing me to NOT use the typewriter under any circumstances.

*The Typewriter- welcome to 2009. now go away.

*My i-pods- i am glad you are both home safe.

*Simon and Garfunkel (or G-Funk)- for the song "The Boxer." I'm not sure why, but this is my favorite song of yours (followed closely by 'The Sound of Silence', let's be honest.) (Yes, Jenny, i am putting 'The Boxer' on a cd for you. yes, AND the Nacho Libre song.)

*Joseph Gordon-Levitt- for your performance in the movie 'Brick'. You've got moxie. I dig that.

*Deff Leppard- for the song 'I Miss You in a Heartbeat.' don't judge me.

*Braden Land- you, your guitar, and your satchel full of harmonicas rocked my friday night. you've got skills.

and last but not least

*Victoria's Secret- your 2009 swimsuit collection is MUCH better than last year's. i'm ordering more than one to make up for last year's piddly selection.

-Lo-

25 Random Things... these puppies never get old.

Emily tagged me in this one. You'd think I'd run out of random things to say about myself, but it's not true, my friends. and don't judge me if i accidentally repeat something from the "16 random things" note.

1. i am wicked forgetful. it is a recent development, but i seem to forget everything that has to do with work or school... or things that were said in conversations, regardless of their importance. i can, however, remember movie quotes like you wouldn't believe.

2. i have also recently developed an allergy to alcohol and food. the alcohol doesn't bother me, i'm really not a drinker. but the food part kind of makes life less enjoyable.

3. i want to learn to freebord. (joshua, will you help me? josiah is being a little girl and won't do it with me.) I also want to learn how to skateboard and play guitar. all this year. also, it bothers me that there is not an 'a' in the word 'freebord'.

4. i like to pick on my mom. my favorite one thus far was the conversation in which i expressed a desire for a rather large and intricate tattoo. she's so easy to irritate. it's adoreable.

5. if i could, i would be a boondock saint. (no, roy, not their secretary.)

6. Leo Tolstoy changed my life. if i could have coffee and conversation with anyone from the past, it would be him. although, i would have to learn russian. i'm not above it.

7. if i could have pick anyone from the past to be my shopping buddy, it would be Oscar Wilde. (don't act like you wouldn't pick him too.)

8. i wish that i could do nothing but read, write, sing, and play piano for a living.

9. i carry a german dictionary around in my backpack in case i need it. not an english dictionary, though. yes, i am that person.(p.s. i haven't had a german class since high school. )

10. i say 'that's what she said' as often as possible.

11. i love volcom, roxy, j. roberts, and victoria's secret more than life itself.

12. i am passionate about long, beautiful, intricate sentences- the more commas and semicolons, the better.

13. i am afraid of not being good enough.

14. i like to do things for people. it makes me feel good.

15. i have a bad habit of unintentionally planning things with friends at the exact same times. because i forget. (see random fact #1)

16. i fear that i have lost hope in people, but there are an elite few who help me believe all is not lost.

17. i dig consistency (in people's behavior especially, but also consistency in beliefs and opinions.)

18. i don't talk just to fill silence. there is no point to empty words.19. i am still reading 6 books at once. haven't finished any of them yet, but i'm almost through with 'Haunted'.

20. i am different than anyone you will probably ever meet. some people like it. some people don't. i'm okay with that.

21. i form my own opinions about things. if i have an opinion about something, it's because i have thought about it a lot. i usually will not share my opinions unless i am asked because they tend to be atleast a little offensive, but typically only to people who are closed-minded.

22. i wanted to vote for Cookie Monster for president, and i would have, had there been a write-in portion on my ballot.

23. i like to be sung to.

24. i'm not a morning person. i don't believe the sun should come up until atleast 11:30.

25. i hate complaining. i try not to do it. things could always be worse.

-Lo-

The Last Goodbye

I know I've really messed things up
and I'll reap what I sow.
I pushed this situation way too far,
and now I've got nowhere to go.
I'm at the end of my rope
And I know you think I didn't care-
But that's so far from the truth...
At the end of the day, my only happiness was you.
But I lied and pushed you away too much,
I know that's my mistake,
But Baby, I SWEAR I ache
For You

You said I quit too often,
That I gave up too easily.
But if you give me one more chance
I know you'll start to see
There is still some good in me.
You told me I've had infinite chances,
So then what's just one more?
I can be so much different-
Be who I was not before-
I just want to do what's right,
And Baby, I SWEAR I'll fight
For You

I offer you the same old lines
With sentiments that are appealing and sweet
I really think that I want to try
but I fail to follow through every time.
I know I've lied and run from you,
But I know I'm not the same;
And Baby, I SWEAR I'll change
For You

The way I treated you killed you inside
I'm aware of that now, you told me how
I drove a knife through your heart
And made you believe it was your own fault
I cut you with my words
I choked you with indifference
I did all I could to stifle your spark,
I wanted to feel that flame die in my hands,
That beautiful part of you I could never understand.
I know that I fell short and couldn't give you what you need
But Baby, I SWEAR I'll bleed
For You

I left you alone and took comfort in others
I made you feel guilty for wanting a friend
I wanted to be all you had and all you'd ever need
I never wanted you to find happiness outside from me,
Because I knew if you felt lonely you'd never leave my side-
It was my own insecurities, my own stubborn pride.
I cast you away, and now you're gone
And I'll be leaving soon;
But when I carry you with me,
I'm always home
And I'll always love you more than you'll know
But I SWEAR I'll live and die alone
For You

-Lo-

A Serpent's Creed

You said you'd give Him everything-
You, with your shifty eyes, your forked tongue.
"Everything" is an absolute,
unaffected by what is convenient to you.
He offered you an escape,
He wouldn't let you be alone-
But you wanted a rescue,
not a stepping stone.

It's people like you
Who make me hate this place,
but we're not really all that different...
wicked with a smiling face.
You make me sick, you liar, you fake-
the face of an angel, the heart of a snake;
And right at the moment when all was at stake,
you made Him a promise you KNEW you would break.

Then you waited for Him to come take you home,
knowing He cared too much to let you suffer alone;
When all of a sudden you felt hands around your neck,
and you said, "But I've done nothing! Get me out of this mess!"
But that's just it, you've done NOTHING at all,
so why do you expect someone else to take the fall?
You just close your eyes and ears to truth
and allow pride to take over you.

You let those fingers close around your throat,
Forcing the life out, nice and slow.
And you wonder how He could let this happen to you-
alone with no hope of rescue.
How could He do this?
Let you fall?
Doesn't He care?
Do you matter at all?

You hate those cold, dead fingers around your neck,
but you haven't figured out who they belong to yet.
You scream, "It's the devil who's doing this to me!"
But examine it closer, you won't believe what you see.
You look like a fool putting the devil in his place
with your hands around your throat; indignant smile on your face-
Because you KNOW there's no way you have put yourself there.
You wonder, "Who did this? It just isn't fair."

But you broke a vow once consecrated,
Knowing He'll forgive you and love you anyway.
So you need to let go of the hopes you've created.
You promised Him a life alone, so keep it that way.

Paul talks about what is required of you,
so keep your hands clean, don't just talk, follow through.
YOU ARE BOUND TO A PROMISE THAT'S BIGGER THAN YOU.

And yet you cling desperately to your own selfish desires;
Choking yourself, adding fuel to the fire
of the hell you've created with decisions you made.
You are the culprit. You are to blame.

And I hate the way you laugh and smile;
Your forked tongue hidden behind your teeth;
A joyful laugh, but I hear the hiss underneath.

When He offered His hand, you struck, you bit,
pouring venom through his veins, but that's not the worst of it-
You crept inside Him, coiled around His heart,
And you squeezed until you ripped it apart.
Then you stood back and screamed.
He's dead on the floor.
Clenching your throat, you choke as He bleeds,
and you scream, "How could You do this to me?!
I've done nothing, I need rescuing!"
Desperate for comfort in a time of need,
You buy into your lies; a serpent's creed.

You deserve worse than hell for the things you've done.
Your justifications are useless, you're not fooling anyone.
You've deceived yourself into thinking you've done no harm,
and you've deceived others, it's part of your charm.
You deserve to suffer, I hope it hurts
And I hope that it haunts you every day.
This is what you get for breaking the only heart that matters-
This is the price you pay.

Sing your woes to someone who cares,
Life is a breath and you're choking on air;
And you sit in your trenches, waiting to be saved,
But you're killing yourself; you dug your own grave.
You bank on redemption because He makes things okay,
You did all of this yourself, and now you must pay.

Wickedness comes naturally, it's hard to do what's right.
You used to talk about being better than that,
but we lost you in the fight.
I have watched you become everything you hate.
You've got the face of an angel,
The heart of a snake.



-Lo-

Shout Outs

I made a list of shout outs to people and things that I'd like to publically recognize:

I'd like to give a shout out to:

-My M.D. for giving me 943 prescriptions; none of which work. That's truly amazing. I'm not even mad.

-To Jenna and Kelsey- For freezing your butts off with me outside the Diamond Shamrock aftermidnight because I'm an idiot and locked my keys and phone in my car... and then we had to call the Pop-A-Lock Guys..

-To Manuel, the Pop-A-Lock Guy- Thanks for breaking into my car and allowing me to drive home from Albuquerque. You're welcome for the marijuana.

-To Daisy- Your little body crapped on the floor with the force of 9 Malamutes this morning. I was going to swat you, but we high-fived instead. And I gagged 3 times.

-To Tyleen- For introducing me to wine that tastes like candy

-To Walgreens- For selling the aforementioned wine.

-To my body- For developing a recent allergy to alcohol

-To Andrew- For conversations that SHOULD be awkward and for hot lunching Jenny's water glass.

-To Cord- I've never had a boss who teased me and made fun of me as much as you do. You make me laugh and look forward to my job.

-To Lizzie Borden- For allegedly killing your parents with an axe and giving me great material for a research paper to freak out my sophomore english teacher.

-To Mr. K- For being the worst English teacher ever. With all due respect, sir, you deserved the hell we put you through.

-To LeAndra- For the stunts you pulled with the desk. And because no one makes me laugh like you.

-To Tony- For the dimple. Enough said.

-To the back fax machine- For 10 consecutive modem failures when I tried to send a fax today. I think that's a new record.

-To static electricity- For allowing me to shock myself every time I touched something today, and for making my day worse.

-To BooBoo and "Lydia"- For keeping my heart happy- and for keeping me from screaming the longest stream of profanity in the history of swearing.

-To my Girlfriend- For your wisdom and beauty. You're the most selfless person I know.

-To Jenny, Woman (Sadie), and Jasmine- For bringing a disgusting amount of laughter and 'that's what she saids' into my life.

-To the back fax machine- For 3 more consecutive modem failures. I hate you.

- To myself- For forgetting everything I was supposed to do today atleast once.

-To my brothers- You boys are the most beautiful people I know. I'm so lucky to have you.

and Finally....

-To IHOP- For breakfast at all times of the day.

**EDIT

Additional Shout-Outs go to:

-The band Union Station- For their song "I Believe", supporting a message of love and unity... and for so freely using the "N" word.

-Christina Nicole Conway- For being my best friend, for walking into her bedroom to find me in my undies (and maybe a shower cap?) playing super nintendo (in high school), for late night taco bell, evenings spent on the rooftop, for always sending me cards and stuff in the mail, for being on Reno 911, for giving me a mouth hug that MEMORABLE night at Tyler's, for memories from Varsity cheerleading (and JV for that matter), for pursuing her dreams (i dig that), for working at Tia Juana's and getting me a job there, for Freedom Fest, for being my voice when I wasn't bold enough, for always loving me, for never being afraid to belch as loudly as possible, for some of the greatest memories i will ever have.

- Fwink Fwank Fwunk- For being damn near death and fatally ill for 10 straight days, but pulling through even though he had one foot on a banana peel and the other in the grave. I applaud you, good sir. And for doing all kinds of algebraic word problems to figure out that my birthday is the 14th, not the 17th.

-To Travis Barker for this amazing, life changing video...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RKQgDY0pZ68

check it out. it's flippin amazing.

that is all.


-Lo-

Blisters and Coffee

1. Put your iTunes on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!


IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
"Anytime"- Brian McKnight

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
"The Rescue"- Search the City

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
"A Final Hit"- Leftfield

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
"One Too Many Mornings"- Bob Dylan

WHAT'S YOUR LIFE PURPOSE?
"House of 1000 Corpses"- Rob Zombie

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
"Forever"- The Beach Boys

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
"Perfect Lie"- The Engine Room

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
"Cold (But I'm Still Here)"- Evans Blue

WHAT IS 2+2?
"All In All"- Lifehouse

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
"Pocketful of Sunshine"- Natasha Beddingfield

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
"Calling All Angels"- Jane Siberry & K.D. Lang

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
"So Cold I Could See My Breath"- Emery

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
"We Are"- Kids In The Way

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
"Sing to Me"- Run Kid Run

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
"New Dark Ages"- Bad Religion

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
"But a Breath"- The Wedding

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
"Already Over, Pt. 2"- RED

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
"Waste it On"- Silversun Pickups

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
"Feuer Frei"- Rammstein

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
"Shadows and City Lights"- Deas Vail

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
"Socio"- Stone Sour

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
"Flights"- Falling Up

THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
"Please Remember Me"- Tim McGraw

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
"Hide and Seek"- Imogen Heap

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
"Deliver Me"- Sarah Brightman

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
"The Archers Bows Have Broken"- Brand New

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
"God of This City"- Chris Tomlin

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
"It Beats For You"- My Morning Jacket

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
"Second Chances"- Needtobreathe

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
"Simple Twist of Fate"- Bob Dylan

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
"Blisters and Coffee"- The Classic Crime

Somebody's Angel

(This is what happens when you find your English notebook from Senior year)


Her heart's an ocean of sorrow
But no one sees her cry
Her pretty smile covers up
The way she feels inside
She may hold on to empty dreams
To help her stay alive
but she knows she's somebody's angel.

And she waits for that day
When words are not enough
When truth is told in silence;
She's hoping on that
she can't find on her own.
But, until that day,
Somebody's Angel is flying away.

She's waiting on a hero
To pick her up again
To take her far away from here
To save her from her pain.
And though it may seem hopeless,
She knows somebody's there,
And she knows she's somebody's angel.

And she waits for that day
When words are not enough
When truth is told in silence
She's hoping on that love
that she can't find on her own.
But, until that day,
Somebody's Angel is flying away.

She knows all the answers,
But she's not through asking 'Why?'
She's heard too many promises,
believed too many lies.
She's got so many questions,
but she still can't find the truth.
She only knows she's somebody's angel.

And she waits for that day
When words are not enough
When truth is told in silence
She's hoping on that love
that she can't find on her own.
But, until that day,
Somebody's Angel is flying away.

She may feel forgotten,
But in her heart she knows the truth-
She doesn't need the words 'I love you'
to be her only proof;
And though she may be lonely,
She knows that she is loved...
And she knows she's somebody's angel.

So, she waits for that day
When words are not enough,
When truth is told in silence,
She's WAITING on that love
that she can't find on her own.
But, until that day,
Somebody's Angel is flying away.

Surrender

A well that tempts you, take a drink-
The harder you fight, the further you sink
into the riddle, into the rhyme.
You're stuck in the middle; you're out of time.
A quicksand of conundrum yields death unfurled,
Drowning promises made by the temporal world.




-Lo-

Song Lyrics

I think music is the one of the greatest things ever. I have a billion favorite song lyrics, but these are some of the ones that have been tugging at my heart lately.... so I thought I would share them... and I hope you share yours as well.

"You've got all the love/ honey, baby, I can stand" -- 'Buckets of Rain'- Bob Dylan

"I will lie awake/ Lie for fun/ And fake the way i hold you/ Let you fall for every empty word i say"- ' Me vs. Maradona vs. Elvis'- Brand New

"When you're flying high/ Take my heart along/ I'll be the harmony/ To every lonely song/ That you learn to play/ And when you're soaring through the air/ I'll be your solid ground/ Take every chance you dare/ I'll still be there/ When you come back down." --'When You Come Back Down'- Nickle Creek

"In every way you're beautiful/ From my heart" -- 'Praise & Adore'- Wavorly

"You are calm and reposed/ Let your beauty unfold/ Pale and white like the skin stretched over your bones/ Spring keeps you ever close/ You are second-hand smoke/ You are so fragile and thin/ Standing trial for your sins/ Holding onto yourself the best you can/ You are the smell before rain/ You are the blood in my veins" - 'The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot'- Brand New

"I ran off and ran on to something/ That I swore was anything but beautiful/ I only say that word for you"-- 'I Can Feel Your Pain'- Manchester Orchestra

"I used to be my own protection/ But not now/ 'Cause my path has lost direction/ Somehow" --'Valentine's Day'- Linkin Park

"When all our tears have reached the sea/ A part of you will live in me"-- 'Please Remember Me'- Tim McGraw

"It's in the way you sell/ Every word and phrase/ And leaving me to know/ how much the meaning weighs" -- 'Studying Politics' - Emery

"I remember that time you told me/ You said, 'Love is touching souls,'/ Surely, you've touched mine/ 'Cause part of you pours out of me/ In these lines from time to time"-- 'Case of You'- Joni Mitchell

"Every time I think of you/ I always catch my breath"-- 'Missing You'- John Waite

"With every mistake/ We must surely be learning"- 'While My Guitar Gently Weeps'- The Beatles"

Oh how I hope that you're happy/ I hear you're somewhere in the sand/ And how I wish I was an ocean/ Maybe then, I'd get to see you again"--'Oceans'- The Format

"When everything inside me/ Looks like everything I hate/ You are the hope I have for change/ You are the only chance I'll take" --'On Fire'- Switchfoot

"What have we learned/ It's the same old things/ That drive us here/ And never go away/ We are changed"--'Eastern Glow'- The Album Leaf

"Go to him/ Stay with him if you can/ But be prepared to bleed" --'Case of you'- Joni Mitchell"

How are we deserving this pain we are feeling?/ How are we deserving this pain with healing?/ And on trails these symphonies of agony.../ Cant you see? We're still demanding self-pity./ Look to the moves of the things surrounding./ We're the only ones, the only ones who keep from growing." -- 'I Will Welcome the Reaping" -Oh. Sleeper


I tag Sadie and Jasmine :)

An Apology (Ode to The Battered Wife)

Countless times I’ve tried to talk to you,
I didn’t want it to be this way;
But I don’t have the courage
And there are some things I’ve got to say.
So I’m writing you this letter,
My apology,
Because I have noticed things
You probably think I never see.

I’m sorry that I lie to you-
I know I let you down.
I’m sorry for the way I act
when I don’t have you around.
I want you to know that I’m sorry
for the way that I behave,
and I really hate myself
for the awful things I say.

I’m sorry that I don’t treat you
like you mean anything to me;
and I know that you see sides of me
that no one else will see.
I’m sorry that I take advantage of you
in every possible way,
because I know that you’ll still be there
at the end of every day.

Know that you deserve
so much more than I can give.
My Battered Wife, I know
it’s not the way you want to live.
Know that you are loved
so much more than I let on.
My Battered Wife, you’ve been sunshine
when all the light was gone.

I’m sorry for the violence,
for my cruel and painful touch.
I hit you and you take it
because you love me that much.

Know that I don’t mean it
when I slap; when I shove;
My Battered Wife, I’m sorry,
it is I who doesn’t know love.

I don’t know what it means
to put your needs before my own,
and it’s never been that hard for me
to make you feel alone.

I’m sorry for the empty mess
I’ve caused your life to be;
I will promise you the world,
but my actions speak for me.

My Battered Wife, there’s so much more
than I could ever say,
so please accept this apology,
read it every day.
And though I know I’ll always be
the person that I am,
know that there’s a part of me
that truly understands
how much I hurt you-
inside I tear you apart;
I know a day does not go by
that I don’t break your heart.

I’m sorry that through all the pain
and constant let-downs,
My Battered Wife, you were so afraid to lose me
that you chose to stick around.
I’m so, so sorry for all I’ve done,
that I’ve caused such hurt and sorrow.
My Battered Wife, I’m sorry most of all
that I’ll be the same tomorrow.

I make you hurt because I hurt,
and it’s hard for me to see
that, though my pain feels like too much to bear,
the world won’t stop for me.

No one cares how much I hurt
or whether I’m alive or dead.
I heard a song long ago,
And I believe it was Keith Green who said,
“If I could, I would protect you
From what you will see;
For the world will promise love and beauty,
But it lied to me.”

My Battered Wife, I push you away
because I’ve suffered so-
And I’m afraid to let you in,
and I’m afraid that I will start to show
the evidence of hope and love
in my speech and how I act.
The hope of change is a heavy burden;
my pride’s too strong for that.

Know that I’m disgusted
with who I’ve come to be.
My Battered Wife, you’ve truly been
the only good in me.

I’m sorry for my temper,
I wish you only knew
how much I wish that I could change,
it’s so unfair to you.


I painted rage upon your face,
your arms, your feet, your side.
My Battered Wife, I’m sorry,
it’s because of me you died.
I’m so, so sorry for all I’ve done,
that I’ve caused such hurt and sorrow.
My Battered Wife, I’m sorry most of all
that I’ll be the same tomorrow.