Somewhere In Dreamland

When Derrick and I first started going grocery shopping for ourselves after we got married (the first time I've ever really had to do that for myself as it was), we always stocked up on frozen pizzas. Namely, Totino's brand, because they are relatively cheap and delicious. Looking at the pizza, I remembered it being bigger.

You see, Totino's pizzas are not JUST yummy and cost-efficient. They also take me back to when I was about 4 or 5 years old. My family and I were living in Galveston, TX, in an apartment complex. Every Friday night, my mom would prepare 2 Totino's pizzas and we would watch TGIF- a program that would premiere shows such as: Family Matters, Dinosaurs, and Full House. Those were such happy times.

I look at this pizza now and the sensation is bittersweet... because though they bring back fond memories, they are not very big, and my parents made 2 feed a family of 5. Which only shows me that they probably went to bed hungry sometimes.

I've had talks with my mom about our financial situation growing up. We kids never had any idea that my parents struggled so hard to get by. And I think of how many times I probably made my mom cry herself to sleep because I was embarrassed that she bought me the cheap, ugly school supplies instead of the flashy cool ones that would make everyone be my friend and want to sit by me. I used to get so upset with my mom and dad for not letting me have things- cooler clothes, fancier school supplies, a nicer vehicle... when the truth of it was, they fought as hard as they could to get me the things I had. And I was so ungrateful and unsatisfied.

We just never had any idea... we always had plenty of food to eat, we always had a nice, clean, comfortable home, we always had presents at Christmas and on our birthdays. I just wish that I could have thanked them more for what they did.

This is a cartoon that I used to watch when I was little. It's a precious little cartoon that boths saddens and warms my heart, but it always takes me back and makes me remember how beautiful my parents are, and how much they did for me when I didn't deserve it.