1. I have uneven nostrils. I know what you're thinking, what's the big deal? I understand that one arm is slightly longer than the other, one ear is slightly larger than the other, it's just how the human body is. But I used to be (okay, so I still am sometimes) WICKED self-conscious about it. Granted, as self-conscious as I may be, I'm usually the first person to point it out or make a joke about it. I once took a picture of my nostrils and sent it in a text to my friend Chrissy (who may have been the first person to point out my embarrassing flaw) just giving her an update on my nostril status. Still uneven. They sometimes remind me of the book The Witches by Roald Dahl, which was one of my absolute favorites growing up. The reason for this is their nostrils are supposed to be large and shaped like sea-shells.
Check out the piece of work in the corner on your left side. that's what my right nostril looks like... roughly. I'd post a picture of my own nostrils, but I'd rather let your imaginations run with it.
2. When I was little, I was always really picky about the jeans that I wore, mainly in the crotch-al region. I HATED that the zipper poked out, and I was afraid that people would think I was a boy. (I fell asleep with gum in my mouth. The gum subsequently ended up in my hair. My hair had to therefore be cut very short.)
3. I positively CANNOT function if my hands feel dirty. If my hands feel at all dirty, I ball them up into fists until I can get to the nearest sink. I get made fun of at work because I wash my hands an obscene amount of times per day. I'm that way about my feet too, if I feel like there is dirt or yuckiness (especially between my toes), I curl my feet up and wash them as soon as I possibly can...
followed quickly by a good hand-washing.
4. I prefer the idea of being pretty and groomed to actually doing it. I like to have painted nails and tweezed eye brows and shaved legs, but the truth is, I only paint my nails when I have nothing else to do, and I usually only do my pinkies and pretend that I'm starting a new trend; I only tweeze my eyebrows when the hair is starting to grow on my eyelids (you're welcome for the gross visual); and I only shave my legs when I can start to see the hair really well.... from a distance (again, you're welcome.) And I have no problem wearing my cute cropped capri pant-thingies to work with nasty wooly legs.
5. I love Victoria's Secret. My friend Amanda once predicted that in 10 years I would own Victoria's Secret. Because I owned so many of their products.
6. If I could go back in time, knowing what I know now, and make different decisions....
I would.
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